The Blessings of Contracting Genital Herpes. Learn how to love yourself with herpes.Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum, a supportive and positive group of people to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have By MplsMan , January 16, in Herpes talk success stories. I first off, want to say thank you to this site creator.
Further Google searches opened my eyes to the powerful and invisible stigma associated with sexually transmitted diseases. Stigma is what keeps people from chatting about herpes the way they discuss allergies—we associate genital herpes with liars, cheaters, and the rampantly promiscuous.
Despite being a sex-positive writer and activist, I wondered if this was some karmic punishment for my values and the way that I had lived my life. On a logical level I knew that getting an STD had nothing to do with my actions and didn't say anything about my character; it was simply luck of the draw.
But this was easier to know than to actually believe.
The next six months were a bit like learning to walk again—I stumbled around like a baby deer, too heavy for my own body.
Rebuilding my sense of self was harder than getting over the symptoms of my first outbreak, which only lasted about a week and a half, thanks to Valtrex and a ton of Extra-Strength Tylenol. After a few weeks of isolating myself from the world, I made my first foray into dating and the conversation it now required.Herpes rejection as a relationship filter
A soft-spoken and adorable nerd on OKCupid invited me out for drinks, but we parted ways when I brought up the fact that I'm herpes-positive on our third date. I was devastated, and it felt like getting diagnosed all over again. I developed a crush on a new friend back at school, and we went for a long drive through the woods on a Thursday night, about a week into our budding relationship.
We chatted about the health center on campus, and with my eyes fixed firmly on the road, I told him about my experience getting treated for genital herpes. He asked me without any trace of judgment what having an STD meant for my sex life, and I answered that condoms were a must.
He nodded contemplatively before changing the topic. It helped to not have to look at him and watch as he processed the new information. It was also easier for us to talk about herpes in the context of my general health, as opposed to our possible relationship. He felt less pressure to decide immediately whether or not he was comfortable proceeding, and I felt less like a freak asking someone to decide if sleeping with me was worth contracting an incurable illness.
I was worried he would change his mind, and as our relationship progressed, I was convinced that each night would be the last time we hooked up. There was a rift between my mind and my body. I felt estranged from myself. I started looking for opportunities to share this fact about myself, seizing the chances presented by time spent waiting in line to pee at frat parties and by lively class discussions about health care.
Although surely some people made faces as soon as I walked away, I never once got a negative reaction to my bold over-sharing. Or I could steer into the skid and stop being so afraid of what people thought. Because I have genital herpes. The guy started apologizing profusely. It was one of the most surreal moments of my life, and in retrospect, it was odd I made it so long without someone making a joke in front of me.
But who cares about herpes? But the second I spoke out against his joke, I was hooked on reactions like his. Pof online dating with you can never collected them a promiscuous life. So make sure success story list soon!
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