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Pitfalls of Dating German Men . Jewish Journal

You Know You are Dating a GERMAN Man When...

So please forgive and indulge me. Equality above chivalry If you want an equal partnership — make Germany your first port of call. Rent and restaurant bills are split down the middle. And it is extremely rare that a man will offer you the last seat on public transport. Personalities: East vs. West vs. Bavaria Just as American Northerners scoff at Southerners, Germany has its own regional rivalries and personalities.

If they borrow 1. At best, you will split the bill in half. Said levels include:. I love you. They like to first work, earn a living, become stable in life, and then make a family. Everybody knows that Germans are ridiculously efficient, which trickles down to their family dynamics. Oh, apparently they also sit to pee to avoid making a mess!!! This seems completely ludicrous, given that the only upside of being a male is NOT having to come in frequent contact with toilet seats.

These four magic words are probably used as a self-soothing lullaby by every woman who has had to use an egg peeler. Sounds ideal? See below. They have a serious conversation at the kitchen table, over a cup of tea and a piece of cake. Simply pick the right one who reflects your needs and values. Funny and true. Points 1 and 2 could also apply to Swedes and Danes and probably the other Nordic, gender-equal countries.

So many similarities. Such a funny, witty and accurate article, Marina! I can confirm most of this points and I am German : …actually living abroad and also dating some foreigners before that time was very eye opening for me.

As it is sometimes nice to be a bit unrational without always being perceived as the odd one out. I will never forget the weird feeling when somebody was opening the door for me the first time in my life…. But like you said there are always positive and negative points for all men. I have to say, it was pretty stressful to write all these strong statements without having ANY firsthand experience! How do you feel about dating Germans after having experienced the door-opening ways of I assume the French?!

Like you mentioned in France where flirting and chivalry is a national sport, you always feel flattered and adored when you skip the cheating part of the French story. In Germany things evolve very slowly but are most of the time stable after a while and you do not have to deal with this emotional rollercoaster ride all the time. In Germany when you e.

That is why people like to split the bill to be equal as well as to do not commit to anything. Germans are trustworthy and loyal but sometimes too rational which has its good and bad aspects in all situations obviously.

As there is no stereotype and you can find very emotional Germans as well I guess we have to blame it all on the douchbags if it goes wrong in the end. Unfortunately douchbag behaviour can be found in every country…. Thank you!! Some with intercultural background. And they were all unfaithful.

He was German several generations back. He was the most unfaithful man I ever came across in my life. Im not sure, if a nationality can really determine faithfulness or cleanliness or whatever. Once again, sorry for those Dbags. Maybe try the French? I feel like Germans are more straightforward.

If someone is nice to and they are friendly while talking to you, it probably means that they just want to be your friend and that they are ready for friendship. What you see is what you get. If someone looks and acts nice, they probably are nice, and if someone looks and acts like a jerk, they probably are a jerk.

This just checked off all my dude requirements, for real. That on top of being totally gobsmacked by the hordes of gorgeous, polite gents when I was in Munich - maybe this is the sign of where I should move to next :. Abba - Thanks. I think German guys are highly underrated, although I'm a bit biased :. Aww, this is so sweet! I have a sort of date with a German coming up - now I know what to expect! Love this article! I am Canadian but have been very impressed by how polite and down to earth Germans are.

I agree with you, German men are very underrated! Megan, Glad to hear that you've also had a positive experience with Germans. Katharina Gerlach. Well, I went to Niagara Falls once and I'd have to say that I was appalled by the American side -- so much rubbish flying around, the town gray and depressing and very, very self-absorbed.

Even the attractions had an "I'm only interested in your money" feeling to them. When I entered the Canadian side: tidiness, flowers and a feeling of being welcome Katharina - As a Canadian, that makes me soooo happy to hear that.

Germany is definitely very clean. I hear some people complaining that Munich is "too clean" which I don't understand. Hi, thats really funny to read that, because i talked with my italien flatmate about it and he said kind of the same.

He misses the passion about love. I'm a german and never thought about "german love". My ex-boyfriends were very old fashion. They opened me the door of the car, and looked on which side they are walking. So there are a lot of different types here i think. But yes, Germans are kind of boring and reserved. Liane - Oh you must let me know your opinion on Canadian men and what happens. I find them nice, but kind of boring. I love my German husband, but would definitely consider him reserved, especially by Canadian standards :.

Of course, you're a little generalizing, you know but mostly you're spot on say someone who's been born and raised German. Especially about punctuality. You're better off asking a German gal -- the ones with at least some education know the ropes. Gosh, it's so refreshing to see my culture reflected in someone else's eyes.

The Local spoke with an American-German matchmaker based in we have a great variety of different types of women and men in Germany?. There is a tendency among German men to date women who are much younger than they are. This more for the fun of dating and socialising.

Katharina - Thanks for your kind words and agreed that I'm generalizing. Also agree that most German women are better than men for dealing with bureaucracy. My German female friends have been very helpful Only when prodded :. I am dating a German man He is always consistant, which is such a refreshing change Sharanya Kannan. Hi i really loved reading this blog. I had met this German guy in India i live in India,Mumbai for only once and that's 2 months back.

We both connected very quickly. Sharanya - Thank you, and I'm glad to hear it's going well. Don't fret. If you do something wrong, a sincere apology should be enough to make him happy again.

We germans don't make friends easily but when we do, we're prepared to take the bad with the good. Katharina - Excellent point! I find Germans are much more willing to take the bad with the good than we Canadians are!

If things go well with him when he is here on his holidays. I like how they flirt in a shy way? I like a german guy soo much, he is perfect; respects me soo much, sweet, nice, and gentleman. Mariam - Yeah, it is shy. Hope you're romance goes well, he sounds like a great guy! I'm an American female dating a German male who has shown me nothing but warmth and thoughtfulness as I am accustomed to in the southern states of my country where hospitality and chivalry rule.

He opens the door, allows me to walk in first, encourages me to order first, speaks about whatever is on his mind like politics and world affairs or work and family, pays for the bill and then behaves totally normal when we go back to the hotel.

We spoke on the phone for a month before meeting, then we shared a hotel room separate beds for a week. On night number four he made love to me. He instigated his move by asking me to lay next to him for ten minutes before he fell asleep. Now I'm going to Germany to meet his family. He's asked me to help him find a house that would make us both happy in a location we have already agreed on. His family is anxious to meet me and I'm a part of every facet of his world. He flirts with me generously by sending picture texts at night and wishes me a good day every morning.

He always does what he says. I have no question he has eyes only for me as his nickname for me is "his beautiful" and all without him ever saying the specific words "I love you.

Dar - I"m glad to hear that you've had such a great experience with a German guy and I agree, actions speak louder than words. I'm actually frustrated with German guys. My experiences are far from O. I do agree that some Germans might be reserved at first, but later would open up. That is what happened with my German friends.

But when it comes about guys it just doesn't happen. They are too cold and distant, won't have any details, They don't know how to flirt, they are not sweet nor romantic. They are not sympathetic and not supportive at all. I know there are exceptions, but in my experience most of them don't know how to treat a woman.

On the other hand, I dated an Austrian guy who turned out to be a sweetheart! I later dated a Swiss guy who was actually really nice and funny, we are now good friends. But Germans Beth - I totally get it. I'm now used to my husband's behaviour, but it took me a while to adjust - I also found him to be cold and not compassionate.

The good news is if you tell them and show them what you would like, most of them do listen. That's not saying that they become incredibly sympathetic and supportive overnight, but my husband has made much more of an effort to adapt to what he calls his "sensitive Canadian". Interesting about the Austrian and Swiss guys, I would have thought they would have been similar to German guys. Love your post!

American woman dating german man

However, as a German girl, I have to say that this is a little to general. Yes, German guys are mostly on time. And NO, they do lie sometimes. Dated a long time in Germany before I moved to the US and know that it's the same as everywhere else: You have some great ones but also some douchebags.

Annett - Agreed, these are generalizations and unfortunately douchebags can be found everywhere. My german partner and I recently have a big dispute. The bottom line is she's very disappointed angry and sad too that I didn't trust her. Now she doesn't want to talk to me for days. She literally chooses to ignore my texts.

I'm very sad because it feels like similar to my previous relationship. I understand that she has the rights to feel so, but I still can't understand why she's so furious because the reason I did my thing was only to know what I'm getting into and to protect myself in the future if it needs be it's a complicated story : sigh.

Koomar - Sorry to hear you're having trouble with your German partner. From my experience, I've observed that trust is very important to Germans, even more so than for some other nationalities. I hope you're able to work it out. And then, try to approach your partner by opening up about the things that frighten you. Explain why you didn't trust. Write it in a real letter -- possibly with a pressed flower stuck to it.

If your partner values you a lot, s he will come around and at least try to understand your pov. It doesn't mean s he will share it, so an apology wouldn't hurt. Katharina - Thank you for taking the time to respond - great advice! Hi I want to find out if you meet a German Guy online and he ask you to move in if he mean it. I met a German Guy I have been to talking to sometimewe both fell for one another. I am from the UK but living in the US. He texts me and tell me he misses me very much everyday.

Even the I love you have come in also recently, Germans guys are hunk lol! Any help would be appreciate Julia. Julia - Mmm, from online it's tough to know. Definitely worth meeting him in person a few times first before moving in with him. Best of luck. Hi Laurel, Thank you for your response! We defiantly planning on meeting one another soon, but my job as a Lawyer is demanding, But he kept asking me when we are going to see one another.

They say that German guys are shy but in this case I did not see this. We talk everyday on the phone he always have something interesting to tell me. I find him to be kind, caring and a polite guy.

He lives alone so I am planning on going to see him and stay with him. It funny one of my friends gave him a call because she wants to move to Germany and she says he was so shy when she was speaking with him.

When she told him thanks for making my friend happy he gave a laugh and did say anything else. But I told her he was not like that with me at all, even our first phone conversation. I enjoy reading your blog keep up the good work. Best Regards, Julia. Julia - I'm so glad that you're having such a great experience with a German guy! Let me know how it goes - fingers crossed for you, or as they would say in Germany, "Toi toi toi". Hi Laurel, Thank you for your well wishes! Today is my birthday, my German Guy did a video recording singing me Happy Birthday's song, I was smiling when I heard it, I think that is so sweet of him.

He said to me you make my heart go blind by loving you. My German comes off so loving. I tell him I do not what I will do with him. From what I read it is so different what they are saying about German Guys.

Julia - Happy Birthday! Hope you're having a fantastic day! Your guy sounds very sweet! I can't wait for you guys to meet! Hi Laurel, Thank you! I wanted to ask if German Guys, when they having problems if they would pull back? Meaning personal or work problems. Have a nice weekend. Julia - I think generally speaking yes, but if you ask them directly if something is wrong, I've found them to be more open than Canadian guys. Let me know how it goes! Hi Laurel, I would say he worked hard in wooing me to get me, because we met online.

But now he is more relax now, and compare to what I read German Guys are really not that way. I asked him as you had mentioned, he told me he was having personal problems, but he did not want to talk about this time with me. So I let it go, and decided when he was ready he would let me know.

H e let me know when he has plans to do things with friends and family. He tells me that I am wonderful and he misses me so much, almost daily. We have not been speaking much because of this, but two days ago he called me to tell me he wanted to hear my voice before he went to sleep. The time difference is also a killer for us.

When he is going to work I am going to sleep, so what I am doing is giving him his space. I also let him know that I am here for him if he needs me to talk about anything that is bothering him he can vent.

So I am drowning myself with work, But I must say dating a German is defiantly different than dating an American or Scottish. But all is it a cultural difference. Laurel I wanted to know if you live in Germany? But thank you for your advice and writing this blog educating us on German Guys. Julia - It sounds like you guys have a great connection, but need to meet as soon as possible.

Maybe you can meet somewhere halfway and spend a weekend together? While it's great to have an online and telephone connection, nothing compares to seeing what it's like in person, before you invest too much time in the relationship. I visited my now husband two months after we met on vacation as I wanted to see what his life was life in Germany and that was really helpful.

Bavarians: Consider this group the German equivalent of America's conservative South: . I am an American woman dating a German man. She soon realized that dating German men may be easy on the eyes, but not always on the heart. the non-German woman may come up against strange behaviors that “When I go out with American guys I feel amazing. In my 20s I would have considered dating a German guy boring. Most Germans love to travel, and they have a lot of holidays compared to North Americans. .. Also agree that most German women are better than men for dealing with.

I've lived in Germany for over 5 years now. Best of luck! They know how to make you feel badly. If you have to wait until their are accustomed to see you around, It can last one year or more, what means they are racist because like people from community, and not people because they are simple people. German are moody, unfriendly, conformist, and without sexual hormones, to not say indifferent to all the subtleties of love and tenderness.

All the world is romantic but Germans. Even a Japanese robot is more sentimental. I am not kidding, that is really fucking awesome. There is not way to describe them without insulting them, because they are insulting all type of kindness with their behaviour.

They want only be the best at obey their race, they are very tribal, they have the last model of iapple but their soul are in the medieval age yet. They want only have children for the state, live alone, and practice only single activities.

They prefer a dog than a chat with a foreigner. If you come to Sachssen, You will see all the parks full of solitaries people with dogs, complete silents, no smile, no laughter, The perfect world to be a statue and do only your job. They say they know Peru, but they dont know have to buy a ticket bus in Lima or how to cook a Ceviche, etc.

Leindenschaft only at work and shopping new gadgets. We all know how their are and that will not change. We are very kind with thesedisrespectful and rude tribe. I live in Germany and they don't know what smile means!!!

Sie sind hasslichen!! I have never see a couple of Germans kissing in the street!!!! I swear you. Garrafa - I'm very sorry to hear that you've had such a negative experience.

I'm grateful that my experience has been much better. I hope you are able to find some nice German friends, as there are nice people everywhere. I enjoyed your article. I just met a German man. We both work internationally and are well traveled. We met as work friends but it's a big company so I don't see him very much. I saw him out one night and he gave me a look and smiled so a few days later I asked him out. We had a good time and he thanked me, said the pleasure was all his, when I replied thanks for coming.

Long story short we had talked about going to a movie. His exact words to me after saying I wouldn't mind seeing it since he had said he was a fan were, sounds like a plan. But he never actually sought me out for a second date.

After a week I saw him again and he said yes he would like to see the movie but he didn't know when asking me when I wanted to go. I said I don't know anytime so he replied he would think about it and I could think about it.

German men are great and loyal partners but how to make them to like you? of these gorgeous guys is often rather sweet and attractive to women from other. Apparently, German women get insulted at such gestures, or something. Personally “German men like to date girls for many, many years. I am American woman and have been dating a German (actually, Bavarian) man for over a year now. We are struggling with some issues, and.

I told him stop by my office. Also before I asked him if he wanted my phone number and he said yes but his friends came over and he said I will get it from you next week. Sorry for all the details, but I can't figure out if he is just being polite and not interested as he never came to get my number. He is a genuinely nice person, but a usually a polite American response is a blow off.

I knew enough about German men to pursue him a little but how far does being direct go? Would he rather be polite than say no? Thanks for listening hope you can offer some insight!

Marsha - Thanks for your comment. If he hasn't asked for your number yet, despite you showing interest, my guess is that he's either not interested, or it's not a good time for him to pursue a romantic relationship - I hope I'm wrong, but that's my two sense.

Best of luck and let me know how it turns out. Thanks Laurel. I guess I just get this subtle feeling that he is attracted to me by the way he looked at me during our "date", or the way he waited by the door looking at me after an event but I was too shy to walk over and talk to him, or the way he stopped in mid sentence when talking to someone else to stop and talk to me, and the way he did not stop the conversation even though people were waiting for him and there were pauses when he could have easily excused himself or when he told me he would like to take me out to dinner.

I will say I asked him out very casually as in hey I have an extra ticket to this concert do you want to go? But you do have a point that he has not asked for my number. Do you have any guesses why if Germans are so direct he would not have politely declined the movie invitation? I think I am just going to give him my number and tell him I am interested in getting to know him better and having some fun, unless your readers think it is a bad idea.

I know you are a busy woman so I understand if you don't reply. I was just hoping something would work out between us. Thanks again! Marsha - Some Germans do modify their behaviour when they're around other cultures that are not as direct as they are, especially those that are well traveled.

I truly hope it works out for you. British are better than German guys The looks, the charm and the chivalry! I've been to Germany and the guys were OK, no match for me though. I got all the fraulines! You also forgotten to mention that the British are better flirts than the Germans. I'm dating a typical German guy for 6 months now and this article is really true they might be boring, very private, cold, workaholic, not so romantic and so many things but they are also a real Gentlemen and a keeper.

Affe - So glad to hear that you're having such a great experience with your German guy! I have just read this forum on Dating Germans. I am a 27 yr old man who just recently met a nice German young woman who lives in Germany. She and I have been corresponding for a couple weeks off and on.

I have noticed that she is a bit more reserved and honest in comparison to American girls. I would like to know how to tell her I feel and I would also like some tips on how to continue corresponding fear of not having enough to talk about soon. I do not wish to scare her away. As a benefit and a way to impress her, ive been trying to learn the German language day by day. I've even tried singing a German version of a song for her If anyone has any tips or pointers, I am open to them all.

Andrew - Your observations sound spot-on. The good thing about Germans is that you can be honest with how you're feeling and just tell her. When I told my husband about some of the games that people typically play in North America i. The other important thing to do is if you say you're going to do something i. Germans take things much more literally than North Americans do and don't just say things to be polite - if they say something they typically mean it.

This was a great read thanks! I only know he's german because I heard him and his buddy speaking the language, but they switched to English when I entered the elevator. Anyways, its' the weirdest attraction, or maybe not at all? I feel like there is an attraction between us, I can feel it.

But maybe it's just my imagination? I always seem to run into him when he has his son with him, and he always says "hello, how are you? He always has this huge smile when we see each other. But the one time it was just the two of us, he said "oh, ugh, Hi". And continued on to say nothing at all, and I left.

The next time he saw me, it seemed like he wanted me to stop and hav ea conversation? Maybe I read it wrong. Anyway, its the most bizarre situation of my life, I can't read him. Some insight into his culture might help to explain things though. Confused It sounds like he's interested. From my experience, and from a North American perspective, I find Germans to be awkward initially in romantic situations very generally speaking of courseand if he's saying "How are you?

Germans don't ask this question unless they really want to know. Let me know how it turns out. He showed up ten minutes early, and I ran late 10 min I'm hardly late and then he's so freaking honest and forward in a polite manner to me. He's trusting in me, by letting me house sit at his apt, after one date. He doesn't push me to answer his questions, if I don't want to answer, he just moves onto the next thing. It's my first time dating a true German and so far I can't wait if this blossoms into something more serious and romantic but I can't wait to find out :.

Michelle - Glad to hear that you're having such a great experience with a German guy, keep me posted on how it works out :. He spent some months in my hometown, he was pretty nice with me, I mean, he would give me some company when I was doing house siting or supporting me in different ways, we spent a great deal of time together, also, he was pretty funny guy.

Anyway, unfortunaletly, he didn't felt the way I did when I express my feeling to him and he return to Germany. This was't that bad because I appreciate his honesty and his kindness, he treated me with much respect. After that, I didn't expect nothing, I didn't hope nothing and I don't because, just like you said, as german, he was straighforward and simple.

German Men and Romance: Everything You Need to Know

He always was like that, no playing games which I love. So far, we are still in touch, from time to time we email. By now, I'm planning to visit him and he has already offer himself to tour me around Germany along with his family, pretty neat.

Although, things didn't work between us, I'm happy that we're still friends something that I cannot say with some other guys.

Your post is very interesting and informative, thank you! I have been talking to a German guy for almost two months and we finally went out. Things were going very well and we met every week consistently for three weeks and he expressed his interest for me throughout. He also actively texted me his location when he was traveling out of town for work.

However we are not big fan of texting so we don't exchange texts every other minute but would text everyday just to say our greetings. I like him a lot as he is always genuine and kind. But after the third date after he tried to crack a really dry joke to inform me that he is back in town and I replied with sarcasm because he unknowingly offended mehe stopped texting me actively. So I decided to text him first for the first time to ask when he wanted to hang out again. He gave me a smiley when he received my text but told me he was busy over the weekend.

He did explain in detail who bothers to explain in detail if they are not interested? The female hormonal side of me also thinks that something is wrong since he doesn't text his goodnights to me anymore haha! I would really appreciate any form of insights from fellow readers. What does it mean when he didnt reply to my question, do they lie? Gladys - Probably that he didn't want to answer it, or knew that he wouldn't answer it in a way that you would like.

Typically, and there are exceptions, Germans are very honest. I actually like what you said just like my boyfriend we we're in a long distance relationship he was so true and that what makes me love him more we will be meeting this summer and he was planning to marry me and start a family together, but what scares me is that i am from a far country we are miles away I was thinking after he impregnated me he might leave me.

Hello, Thank you for the article about German guys as I met a German guy. Let me ask you please! I met a German guy on online a year ago. I think he asked me to give some tips about my country as he was going to visit soon. We exchanged Facebook and started to talk on FB messenger. After he came back to Germany he asked me to do Skype. After7 months, somehow we started talk again.

It was last November. I told him I wants to have a serious relationship but not many people looking for it in here. And he also said he is looking for something serious.

INTERRACIAL DATING IN GERMANY IN COMPARISON TO THE USA

Anyway since we started to talk again, he said he wants to come to see me after Christmas. We started to paln what we will do when he comes. We also did Skype few times. And then He really got flight tickets which is not cheep.

I live in London by the way so not that far.

Long story short, he came to visit me from the first January. I picked up him at the station and he brought me so many German sweets and some presents which is so sweet of him. There was another my friend so we did sightseeing together.

I thought he was quiet person but not at all. He is very talkative and actually he has nice sense of humour. I had quite good feeling from the first day.

This sound crazy maybe but he stayed at my house. We kissed and also had sex on first day. I was so regret as he seems bit cold after sex. But day by day we got along really well. We have same value, same taste of music, foods, sense of humour We laughed a lot together. What makes me so smile is when we went to super market, he got me Macaroon and Sushi I am Japanese every time. On third day, we went to Bath and stayed there a night.

I felt really sweet of him about it. Nobody did this to me in my life honestly. I felt how he cares about me. Also he paid for it I asked to separate pay but he refused. And it was so cold so he putted his hat on me and held my hand when we walked. Also he carried my water all the time. Very very kind. Anyway next day we explored the city and we found a leather shop in a market and he got us same bracelets. He said this is for our friendship!

Long story short, We went to some other cities for few days. The last day, we were preparing to go to nightclub. He passed me our bracelets to wear without say anything which was so cute!

We went to a nightclub and danced together. He said he will miss me and I am a special girl for him. He asked me to call his name. And he called me my name. I really felt connection with him. The last day, we went to a market and had lunch together. And then I took him to the station. He said thank you for a week, he enjoyed so much with me.

I said I did too so much. And he told me to come to Germany. I said of course yes I will. And we kessed many times and said see ya. After he arrived Germany, he texted me that he arrived safely and thanks for a week. And his doctor was his house when he back so he got some medicine for throat so I should go to see doctor too. Actually today was his birthday so I sent him a message and our video I made it.

But I am afraid that he will disappear. I am not in love him yet but I like him very much. And I thought he feels the same why by his behaviour. Do you think he came to visit me just for have fun?? Or he is playing game?? Or he is just busy?? What should I do?? Aparajita Dutta. Dear Laurel, First of all congratulations on finding such a great guy.

I wish you two eternal happiness. I am an Indian girl who met a German guy during my recent Phi Phi island trip. I have never been friends or been romantically involved with a foreigner so while everything about him is so new and different and sometimes shocking, I am more at ease now and your article is bull's eye when it comes to him.

Every description just matched! And after meeting a lot of horrible deceitful men and getting my heart mercilessly broken, my German guy is so refreshingly and unexpectedly wonderful. It's like getting a wonderful gift without asking for it! N he calls me his Pochahontas and finds me exotic because of my brown skin which is so endearing because I am quite average looking.

It's strange what life gives you when you expect nothing because you have lost hope. This is the first time a guy has told me"Don't break my heart"! I was laughing inside because that is usually my statement. I am actually as biased now about Germans as you are after meeting him and while we don't know what the future holds because of our many differences, I can safely say he's the most wonderfully unexpected gift in my life. Aprajita, So glad that you found it helpful and I wish you too the best and much happiness.

Well this actually left me confused! I met a German guy after 4 days of chatting we had to much snow. I sent him a text after work that I wish we have known each other so we could go out to play snowball.

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