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Building the ISTJ - ENFP Relationship - Personality Central

ISTJ and ENFP Personality Types in the Workplace

The ENFP is caring, creative, quick and impulsive, energised by the possibilities life can bring. They love devising new ways of doing things, and bring a totally unique and fresh perspective to people and situations. Logical, detached and detailed, ISTJs use their experience and store of knowledge, to plan and will work quietly and steadily behind the scenes towards conclusion. Risk averse they prefer the known, and prefer facts to concepts. ENFPs take a warm, genuine interest in others, they can 'read' people well, and will act as the catalyst for new initiatives and creative ways of solving problems.

We are much better now at prefacing our remarks with, "well, from where I stand, it looks like the best solution is Differences I think keep a relationship interesting. What matters most, those fundamental values like faith, family, work ethic, those we have very much in common. He helps that we're both in the same political party, too! Thanks for writing JU, don't give up just yet! It gets better by the year! Im an INFP. My boyfriend is ISTJ. Thanks for commenting, "Guest" -- Seven years is a long time to invest in a relationship.

I'm not sure what your differences were or what "idealism" means, but it sounds like a fairly core value. No doubt you learned a lot about yourself and others from such a long-standing friendship. Your future relationships will benefit from that knowledge and experience.

Wow, what a neat article. I am an ENFJ. My wife is an ISTJ. I was a legal assistant to pay my way though grad school and seminary. She is a senior paralegal at her firm. I am a Pastor who is back in school studying classical voice and opera.

My wife is a budding author and has published two historical fiction novels. We are both musical. She plays the flute, I play the piano and sing. We both love to cook. We both love and value family and friends and are loyal to them. We are both Christians and raised in church growing up. She is factual, organized and efficient.

I am way more outgoing that she is but I realize she needs quiet home time just like she knows I need people and going out time.

Dating Advice for ENFP and ISTJ Personality Types

For us, it all boils down to our mutual faith in the Lord and absolute love and commitment to each other and our marriage. Though we are different in some ways, we have more in common because of life experience. We were married a little older in life, I was 28 she was 27 so we knew ourselves better and sorta knew the type of person that would be a good fit and God brought us together at the right time.

We have been happily married for 18 years and still very much in love because we learned to be a loving companion and compliment to the other and put the other first and walk together with the Lord. That makes the difference.

There is a big difference in duality and conflict. When you share only the last letter, it is duality, and that is the easiest of all type relationships. VERY different from the others. It sounds to me that you two brought all the right equipment to your marriage and I have no doubt, with your faith, commitment and positive attitudes, you would have had successful relationships no matter what personality types you had!

Learning "to be a loving companion and compliment the other" that's key! And, might I add, a process. One of the benefits of sticking with a relationship is you get more experience in how to love your partner.

That means we stand a great chance of getting pretty darned good at it. Congratulations on 18 years, I wish you many, many more. Thanks so much for reading and commenting! Thank you so much for posting this blog.

Please could we exchange details and perhaps have a conversation about this topic in more detail? It has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. I really need your advice offline if possible? We also deal with our strengths lying outside of the traditional gender roles, which basically leaves me with the responsibility for everything, both things that come naturally to me and things that don't, but are traditionally female.

He's grown a lot over the years and now helps quite a bit around the house, but I know that I will probably always have to ask him to help with the dishes, mow the lawn, comfort a crying child, or remember so and so's birthday. I used to resent this quite a bit and still do occasionallybut I'm working on appreciating him for who he is.

And, really, isn't that what we all want? I yam what I yam, as Popeye liked to say. To be appreciated for your strengths is pretty cool. When I figured that out, and started focusing on all my husband brings to the table, my resentments diminished and my respect and admiration grew. As they say, what we feed grows. Thanks for reading and commenting, Ellen. The first 5 were the hardest, and I had to concede to almost everything my mate wanted, but I really loved him very much and I did adjust.

He passed away suddenly over a year ago. I believe we would have continued married for a good long time if he wouldn't have died, we both have the same values. I would like to be happy at the same time as my partner, and share the joy of new experiences. I am learning to do some of the things he was so good at that I never really tried before. It was a relief not to do the things that didn't come naturally, but now I feel like I was deprived of some growth opportunities that I am getting now.

Istj and enfp dating

I would caution anyone that is wondering about these big differences when you are dating that this is the best it will ever get. You may end up sacrificing yourself and your friends if you do not listen to your gut about the challenges of your relationship. Thanks for such a candid and authentic post, Arianna. And, please accept my condolences for your loss.

You made a couple of powerful points. That opposites can cohabit happily but it takes adjustment. I felt I made all concessions too -- socially most of all. I'm sure were you to ask him he'd say he did all the conceding. The diva and the hermit crab -- an odd combo. While it's been challenging, I am so glad we made it through those adjustments because we have gotten to see and explore both sides of the psychological planet which has enriched both our lives.

You brought me up short with your last paragraph. I would hate ours to be cautionary tales. That said, it is a good reminder to anyone still in the dating game -- we are what we are. Or, as someone very wise said: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I always hate it when people make comments like "your married? Hi, Guest -- we heard that for years. Not so much anymore. I think we've evolved. Before we were like discordant notes that stood out, the contrasts evident. Now, we're more harmonious. Our psychological voices blend. Thanks for reading and commenting. I greatly enjoyed reading this post. We've been happily married for two years and together for five. While my husband and I have secondary personality traits that differ very much from each other, we have very similar fundamental values and beliefs, such as religion, politics, gender roles and parenting style.

I tend to be more rational and practical, in a sense that I like to dissect a problem into manageable pieces and analyze the best options before I tackle it, while he trusts his gut feeling.

We balance each very well in that aspect because though I'm Judging and he's Perceiving, we help each other understand and accept other ways of thinking, through the love and respect we share, which in turn also helps me be more accepting of other people's views and opinions. I would have to say though, communication and mutual respect are definitely the major key factors that contribute to our successful relationship.

We both think respect for each is sacred and once you lose it there's no turning back, so we're both thoughtful of our words even when we're disagreeing. I am so glad I found your post. The only other article I found said they ended up divorced and she was happy about it. So, thank you so much for posting this more positive side to opposites marrying. We have been together almost 16 years and I think we are at our absolute worst.

It seems the more I concede the less he does. I feel like he resents me on a deep level and criticism is constant.

One of us is always defending ourselves. I'm honestly so exhausted and worn out that I don't even care sometimes what happens with it. But, I know I should care more. We have 2 kids under 6 years old. We married very young. I sometimes have no idea what we were thinking and feel like I am serving a life sentence. Oh, to have someone just automatically and intuitively understand me! What is that even like? I will probably never know!

People with an ISTJ personality type tend to be reserved, orderly, and practical in their behavior. They are self-sufficient and work hard to meet their obligations. ISTJ and ENFP couple is probably one of the most unlikely couples, yet all personality types can potentially get along and be way happier than most of us. I noticed that all the answers here were from ISTJ's describing what they enjoy about ENFP's but no ENFP's explaining what they really enjoy.

I hope it gets better for us - I suggested counseling so hoping it helps take the edge off! I also hope we can forgive each other because I know I feel extremely unloved and under valued and am a shell of my former self. I used to laugh and have fun and now I just sit in my house and hope I don't see anyone. It's just weird! We are moving soon to be close to family and I really hope that helps me get back to my old self. Anyway, after another bad fight that lasted all day, I found your article comforting.

When my wife and I took our premarital counselling, the first thing the priest did was to give us the Myers-Briggs. The priest walked into the room and said, "I'm not telling you not to get married, but you guys are going to have some real challenges.

Years later I attended a workshop that talked about marriage compatibility and Myers-Briggs. With "long term" being defined as more than three years, our types had the least success in staying married long term.

Well, it hasn't always been easy--no one promised me it would be--but it has certainly been worth it, and here we are, looking ahead to another 33 years at least! I thought we were opposites as well but actually if you take Myers Briggs back to the original theory you come at the four letter code through cognitive functions and when you do that the ENFP and ISTJ share all the same cognitive functions they just have them in completely the opposite order.

I think this explains why my husband and I are so different but also we are very similar in our values. We have hanged out in groups and had an official one on one time yesterday. But he hasn't followed up. I asked him the first time. Do I wait?

Or try one more time? Hey there! My boyfriend's also an ISTJ. We've been together for 2 years now. For some reason, he's not quite as cold as a lot of people make ISTJs to be.

People often say that opposites attract. Never has this been truer than for my husband and me. I'm an ISTJ personality type and he's an ENFP. I received an email recently that reminded me of my dating days. The person was an ENFP (an Extraverted, flexible green), dating an ISTJ (an Introverted. I've experienced the same feelings from dating an ISTJ in the past. I also see so many posts from ENFP-ISTJ couples either divorcing or going to couples.

He loves going out as long as it's a small group of friends or going to a local bar where he really respects the bartender's opinions and admires his craft. It's just completely sweet the way he melts and gets all maternal whenever he's got a kitten in his hands. However, I sometimes can't stand the way he can't tell me how he's feeling.

He can show me and he shows it very well, but it's hard to understand from a gesture if someone loves you or they just care a lot about you. When I tried asking, he just said, "You bring fun and spontaneity into my life.

Still haven't heard the words, but I can definitely tell I'm not just another girl to him. What about you? Did it take a long time for him to say he loves you? Did you feel like you somehow knew he loved you and you were just waiting for him to figure it out? It literally makes my day!!! He's more chess, card games that require strategy, video games, t. I'm video games, t. So marathoning is a given already. I know movie dates, but that's tricky cause all of our friends are introverts so they are automatically tagging along But as an E, I feel like I'm kind of failing to spice things up.

So I'm trying? This article is great! We are currently in our 7 year itch. Reading this describes so many things that we face and it's great to see that it can work. With a little hard work and acceptance. We are lucky in that we both have patience for each other and we both try to come from a place of understanding. I appreciate so much, our differences, because it means that all aspects of a certain situation will be covered.

For instance in your road trip example, that is very much how we are, all the bases covered. How to get there and what we're eating. It's so nice to see that this really can work. I agree it can be very frustrating sometimes but that's when you have to look at it with appreciation and acceptance for the other person's view.

Thank you for sharing! Whoops, enfp fee! Looks like I failed to respond to your awesome comment. Forgive me! This time 2 years ago my husband was hospitalized for 66 days!! That absolutely put our differences into perspective! Thank YOU for pointing out that patience, appreciation and acceptance go a long way.

May I be add, those 3 will be superheroes in ANY relationship regardless of personalities. I loved reading this article, this is a lot like me and my husband, we got married about 7 months ago and will be together for 4 years, I'm 25 and he's I feel like I've learned a lot about him and about myself so far and he's definitely my best friend in a lot of ways, I love his practical side, because it doesnt hurt researching the best product for the best price while on my end I make it aesthetically appealing.

I feel like we're the perfect team. He makes everything seem so stable. We do fight about little things, but we both try to put things in perspective, if its not detrimental than it doesn't matter. Having a sense of humor in those types of arguments I think is really important. I do believe that there is a lot more that goes into a relationship including the way you were brought up.

The majority of married couples share 2 or 3 letters of the same type on average. ISTJs are the worst people I have met.

What Types Are Socially Compatible With ISTJs?

Initial impressions are good as they have a strong personality. But once we get into a relationship, these people become over controlling. They have zero emotions to what other people feel or go through. They need everything to be done in their way and they put up a huge set of logics. I am ENFP and we used to have daily fights.

There was not a single day without fights. However these people are passionate lovers. Just that they want everything in their format and never willing to adjust.

Though we have a deep bonding but we always end up with some conflict situation. But the main problem in our relationship is judging- perceiving difference. He is too judgemental about things and as you know we are too sensitive to criticism sometime it becomes very tough for me to handle. But giving up so easily is not my cup of tea.

Trust me if you have will, you can be happy too with a complete opposite person… :. Sign In. Update Cancel. Answer Wiki. Quora UserSurvivor Turned Thriver.

This section ISTJ - ENFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this . Categories: Personalities in Love, ENFP, ISTJ Well, I'm the poster-child for the ENFP personality. .. caution anyone that is wondering about these big differences when you are dating that this is the best it will ever get. Compare ENFP and ISTJ personalities to understand how they best work together. Where are the areas of similarity and potential areas for conflict.

I am the ENFP. She is the ISTJ. Answered May 1, Answered Aug 14, Answered Aug 11, I love her very much. Quora UserPop culture gets a bad rap from snooty people. Shakespeare was pop culture at th. That's my husband and I! We have our ups and downs, I don't know if it's all related to personality type.

I' ll describe it this way: I'm like the green lighthe's like the red light. I have enthusiasm for lots of things, but I can take on too many things. He's skeptical, methodical, he is slow to make decisions, and often needs help generating ideas. I generate ideas like crazy, it's like there is a squirrel pecking away on a type writer inside my brain.

Then I run over to the owl Inside his brain and he helps edit it. Sometimes the owl gets stuck, and needs the squirrel to get him going. I won't lie: we bicker a lot. I understand introversion, so I've learned to be very selective in what outings I want him to go to: they tire him out.

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  1. It is a pity, that now I can not express - it is compelled to leave. But I will be released - I will necessarily write that I think.

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